Husband and Wife, Two Sides of the Center and Still Friends

BY M. PORTA

Continuity is hard to come by, but for as long as I can remember I’ve always been a free agent. Not what you’d call a joiner. And so when everyone here in New York was falling in love with Obama (whom I had initially preferred over Hillary), I started to wonder. When people start to flock it gives me that “uh-oh” feeling. The fervor with which he was being embraced gave me pause, just as the vitriol over George W had done long before. Could Bush really be the root of all evil? And could Obama really be the answer to all our prayers?

My husband and I are political moderates, though he feels a greater affinity for the left, while I tend to be more understanding of the right. You’d never know it, probably because I am socially very liberal. When it seems to me that someone on the right is making sense, I just keep it to myself.

From the beginning both of us had respected McCain, primarily for his work in campaign finance reform. This is an issue that was extremely important to us, believing that nothing will ever really change until politicians stop being bought. From our perspective, McCain staked his career on this, and was extremely unpopular with members of both parties for having done so. We also liked that the Republican orthodoxy was at odds with him; Bush and the neo-cons had strayed too far from real conservatism, so McCain’s pragmatic, bi-partisan approach seemed to be the injection of reason that the Republican party needed.

We knew it would be an uphill battle for him. All the charm, charisma, and natural speaking ability contained in Obama was lacking in McCain. Obama couldn’t stop talking, yet the substance of his words eluded me. Still, he was so likeable, so decent. McCain, for all his accomplishments, experience, and renowned sense of humor, could sometimes appear flustered, irritated, and crotchety. And, of course, we were so tired of Bush that it was difficult to find a more diametrical opposite (we thought) than Obama: young, biracial, smooth and elegant—though not at all entitled. He excited and inspired us. We were only too happy to see Bill and Hill getting thrown under the wheels of the bus by their own kind.

At a certain point in the campaign, my husband and I felt the usual gravitational pull: I started veering to the right, while he characteristically went left. Every night we spoke about the candidates and the issues that were closest to our hearts—the environment, how money and power have corrupted the political process, education, and the nation’s defense and the threat to the West from fundamentalist Islam. We bantered and cajoled and hollered and rolled our eyes, and ended by canceling out one another’s vote. He agreed with me that Obama had promised too much to too many, which could translate into a business-as-usual agenda or even a make-it-up-as-you-go-along plan. Either way, we can’t afford it. I agreed with him that the time wasn’t really right for McCain, not only because he was old and a hawk and had run a lousy campaign, but because people were so angry that no matter what he did—even if his performance was excellent—they’d never give him credit.

I was actually relieved when Obama won. I hope he puts all my suspicions to bed, that he can live up to even a quarter of what we’re all expecting from him. What might it be for us to undergo real change? That, for me, is still the question.

M. Porta is a freelance writer and editor who lives in New York City with her husband and two sons.

3 Comments »

  1. admin Said,

    January 28, 2009 @ 8:55 am

    The “flock” mentality also worries me very much, and I appreciate such an honest account of the center of American politics today. You and your husband represent true bi-partisanship, not like what we’ve got working on the stimulus package in Congress right now. Thank you, M. Porta.

  2. Charles Schick Said,

    January 28, 2009 @ 10:01 pm

    In his acceptance speech Obama was not referring to those who did not vote for him as clenched fisted dissenters, he was addressing totalitarian nations.
    “to those leaders around the globe who sow conflict and blame their society’s ills on the West, know that your people will judge you on what you build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent know that you are on the wrong side of history but we will extend a hand to you if you are willing to unclench your fist.”

  3. Hope Dascher Said,

    January 28, 2009 @ 11:57 pm

    The comment above was sent after I had already made a correction to a reference from P-BO’s inauguration speech. The mistake was all mine, and I submit my humble apology for the error. Thank you for paying such close attention and keeping it real.

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